Laugh Out of Court
by yadon
Summary: Meet Bobby Fulbright, the LAPD's newest officer. With his shiny badge and a can-do spirit, Bobby is ready to carry out his lifelong dream: to protect and serve and ensure justice prevails! Detective Badd warns him how tough the first year on the force can be, and how so many officers find themselves overwhelmed and not cut out for the job. But that wouldn't happen to Bobby!
1. Chapter 1

"...What are you doing here, kid?" Detective Badd stopped midway through the courtroom lobby as Bobby came racing towards him.

He'd made it, with moments to spare.

Breathless but relieved, Bobby's smile grew wider and he directed it squarely at the favorite of all his training officers. "Sir! I only... " He immediately realized he hadn't properly addressed Detective Badd and started over, this time with an enthusiastic salute. "Sir, I only want to audit the trial. I'm sure watching you and Mr. Faraday in court will be among the very best training I can receive!"

"Kid... when I said I was testifying in a trial this weekend, that wasn't open invitation for any of you lot to join."

"Please, Detective Badd!" Bobby was desperate; his clunky secondhand car had been giving him trouble since he'd driven home last night, and he'd woken up an hour early just to make sure it'd be running. Thank goodness, too, because he'd used that hour in its entirety to get it to start. He wasn't going to just turn around and leave now! "I have a tablet and everything, ready to take notes!" He showed off the notepad, already scribbled full with everything he'd jotted down during his month of training.

"You're not even sworn in yet, Fulbright." Detective Badd threw a quick glance over his shoulder, through the courtroom's open doors, likely worried that Mr. Faraday might be concerned what happened to his partner.

"I know, Sir, I do, and - "

"And it's a nice Saturday morning. Your day off... shouldn't a kid your age be out... I don't know. _Not_ hanging around a courthouse, that's for sure."

"Justice never takes a day off! Please, Sir, I know I should have asked beforehand but I barely even slept last night. That's how excited I was - how excited I still am! " He knew what Detective Badd was getting at; here Bobby was, the youngest in his rookie class – still a teenager, even, for a few more months. For everyone else his age, summer meant chilling with friends down at the pool or sleeping off a wild night out or taking extra credit classes at the local community college.

Not Bobby Fulbright. He might not have had the badge yet to prove he was an officer of the law, but his heart had always worn that label. Every hour of the day, and every day of his life.

"The trial of State versus Peña will now reconvene!" The judge's booming voice echoed out into the lobby. One of the bailiffs guarding the door reached for the handle to push it closed, but instantly retracted when Detective Badd shot him a wordless warning.

With the same flinty glare, Detective Badd regarded Bobby, who didn't let his hopeful smile droop for even a split-second. He wanted to watch the trial _so bad_ , and just as he opened his mouth to continue his protest, Detective Badd waved it off with a tired sigh.

"Sit in the gallery... keep your head down and mouth shut." Detective Badd paused to dig around in his jacket's inner pocket. "Here. This'll help." He tossed something tiny and thin at Bobby, who reflexively lifted his free hand to catch it.

A lollipop! The wrapper indicated it was a "mystery flavor", which made Bobby very happy... the suspense of it all! That was just like Detective Badd, and Bobby hadn't felt any more honored to receive candy in his whole life.

With no chance to unwrap it, Bobby followed Detective Badd into the courtroom, then branched away to find somewhere, anywhere to sit. The only place he could find with a decent view was in the second-to-last row, angled above the defense's bench.

The murmuring throughout the gallery swiftly extinguished when the judge pounded his gavel and called for order. Bobby listened intently as Mr. Faraday gave a summation of the previous day's proceedings – of, as far as Bobby could tell, undeniable proof that the defendant, Ms. Hallie Peña, was guilty beyond reasonable doubt of murdering her husband's mistress.

Bobby had his own little mystery to solve; namely, the flavor of the lollipop Detective Badd had given him. It was a bold red, and he could smell it before even sticking it in his mouth: strawberry. One of his favorites!

He enjoyed it for almost a full minute before a strong, clear female voice declared to one and all that "The defense is ready."

Bobby looked, really _looked_ at the attorney behind the defense's bench, and that was all it took for the lollipop to fall from his gaping mouth, landing on the brand new pair of white boat shoes he'd bought with his first paycheck.

It was a price he was willing to pay in return for being able to witness that poised, confident stance; sharply tailored teal suit; eyes well-defined with dark liner, highlighting the fearlessness in them.

And her _earrings._ The scales swinging, glinting bright as she tucked a long strand of black hair behind her ear. They were so striking – _she_ was so striking! – that Bobby was tempted to lower the sunglasses resting upon his forehead. Even though Gram always scolded him for wearing his sunglasses indoors, he couldn't help how blinded he suddenly was.

She'd always been an _idea_ , a symbol, a representation of the path Bobby wanted his life to follow. Never in a thousand years did he believe he'd actually see her in person, or that she'd be so stunning.

Lady Justice.

* * *

 _Yup, welcome to my crack-pairing hell. Anyway, there actually is a purpose to this story; it leads up to the events of AAI-4, or, at least_ _ **my**_ _take on it. updates for this will be kind of sporadic but I will say that I really really do enjoy planning and writing what I have so far, so who knows. Feedback is always appreciated, and thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 2

Probably the most important thing Bobby learned in his first two weeks as an official cop was that it was not at _all_ like it was portrayed in movies and TV shows.

And he'd known that going in! It'd been a dream of his for years, so he was well-educated about all the differences between what being a cop _actually_ entailed versus what was dramatized for Hollywood. But all the same, _experiencing_ it was a whole different story, and left Bobby disappointed that, as of yet, he hadn't really _done_ anything to help justice be served.

Yesterday Sergeant Hawthorne had given him and a few other new recruits a more thorough explanation on de-escalating hostage situations, and two days before that, Officer Marshall had them assist with documenting evidence.

And while it was all very informative, in Bobby's perception, it was almost like he was still in training, doing little more than observing and listening.

That's why he'd jumped at the opportunity and offered to go through the ever-growing pile of misdemeanor reports at Detective Badd's desk, most of which had only been partially filled-in. Between mentoring other officers and taking on more complex cases with Mr. Faraday, it only stood to reason even a detective as seasoned as Detective Badd didn't have enough hours in the day to complete everything he needed to, with how much injustice still crawled the streets of Los Angeles!

Without a desk and computer of his own, Bobby was able to borrow Officer Faith's while Buddy was up in Homicide. A repeat offender Buddy had previously arrested for domestic assault was now being accused of murder, and Buddy was more than happy to go over what he knew about the suspect with Detective Goodman.

Fairly new himself, with only a year under his belt, Officer Faith was so far the closest thing Bobby had made to a friend at the department. Today, Buddy had come down on his break and now his lunch to check how Bobby was progressing with the reports, and to answer any questions he had.

"Hey, you _can_ take a break, y'know." Officer Faith approached him, tone one of friendly concern.

"No, I can't! I have all these -" Bobby reached for the next file, but his hand landed on nothing but the solid surface of Buddy's desk. "Or... I guess I don't. This is the last one." He blinked up at the clock. Was it really almost one o'clock? Bobby couldn't believe he'd been working these reports for over four hours, not having even taken a lunch break yet.

"Seriously, Bobby. Take a break already... Besides, I kind of need my desk back."

"Oh... yeah, I guess so!" Bobby scooped up all the files, arms crossed to keep the thick pile secure against him. "Thanks for all your help today, Buddy."

"It's no problem. Everyone makes a big deal about how tedious reports are, but I think as long as you can read and write half-decently, they're a piece of cake once you've done a couple dozen." Buddy called out as Bobby started towards the elevator lobby. "Hey! Make sure you grab yourself a donut while you're up in Homicide!"

"Donut?" Bobby turned, curious.

"Yeah, over by the printers, there's a table full of them." Buddy held up a half-eaten bear claw as proof. "Or _was_ , I dunno. They're going pretty fast, you'd better hurry up."

"That's kind of a stereotype though, isn't it? That cops love donuts."

"Who doesn't like them, though? Are you telling me you don't like donuts, especially free ones?"

Bobby didn't say anything, just gave Buddy a thankful smile and headed out to the elevators.

Justice was selfless and didn't expect to be repaid in any way, but that didn't mean it refused a free delicious snack.

* * *

Cruller or jelly? Cruller or jelly?

Bobby's hand hovered between the two options a few times before his decision was made for him.

A slim hand with coral-pink fingernails selected the cruller right out from underneath him. The remaining jelly donut became the last thing on his mind as his eyes met those of the cruller-nabber.

Lady Justice.

She acknowledged him with a smirk before biting into the donut and striding back to...

Detective Badd's desk?!

Lady Justice perched herself atop the corner of the desk. She wiped crumbs from the corners of her painted lips, which were curled confidently the same way they had been at the trial, hooks that had reeled Bobby in. He couldn't quite make out what she was saying to Detective Badd, but whatever it was must have been important; Detective Badd didn't pay mind to just _anyone_ , and he was super attentive to whatever Lady Justice was telling him!

At first, anyway. He eventually waved his hand as if she were some bug he was trying to shoo away, and turned back to scrolling through the mess of paperwork in front of him.

Bobby didn't know what to do, but he knew what he _shouldn't_ do was just stand here, _staring_ at them – well, at her. So with his heart in his stomach being swarmed by butterflies, Bobby began the long walk over, thankful that none of the desks surrounding Detective Badd's were currently occupied.

"Sir...?"

Detective Badd seemed oblivious to Bobby's presence, but Lady Justice? No, she watched him with a certain amusement as she picked apart her donut into tiny pieces and finished it off.

Her hair was the same dark veil it had been, framing her soft face. Closer up, she was even more beautiful than Bobby remembered, and suddenly walking, talking, _breathing –_ it felt so impossible.

He waited a few more seconds, wondering if maybe he _hadn't_ really greeted Detective Badd. Because his tongue felt much too heavy to operate, and it took all his concentration to regain control of it and finally get the words out.

"Detective Badd, Sir? I have those reports you wanted me to check."

"Who's this?" Lady Justice lifted her chin, regarded Bobby through hooded eyes. "Badd, you got yourself a personal gopher or something? Congrats."

"That's just Fulbright." Detective Badd grunted, the smallest flick of a glance showing he had in fact noticed Bobby.

"Just Fulbright, huh?"

"Yes! That's me!" Bobby reached across his hip to where his badge was holstered. Good thing he hadn't picked up that donut, or this wouldn't be possible! "I'm Officer Bobby Fulbright, the LAPD's newest cha-"

In a slow-motion nightmare, the badge bumbled over his fingertips, popped out of his grip and fell to the floor. With a frantic cry, Bobby attempted to grab it – with both hands – in effect dropping all the reports he was carrying. A white-and-manila storm fanned out all around him.

"S-Sir, I'm so sorry!" Bobby scrambled for the reports and his badge, taking great care to at least _try_ and put the files back in the same order they'd been in. "Oh, gosh, I can't believe I... I... I'm so sorry!"

"Fulbright..." There was a scary emotionlessness to Detective Badd's voice as he stood and glared down. That same no-nonsense tone Bobby revered was terrifying now that it was being used on him.

What if this was the end? What was he supposed to tell Gram and Grandpa: that he'd been fired, all because he'd gotten distracted by a pretty girl? Bobby could feel the stinging behind his eyes already, the tears of a useless failure who really _wasn't_ the crusader for justice he'd always dreamed he'd be.

In stark contrast, the air around him filled with a peel of laughter, powerful and bubbling, like someone had popped open a bottle of champagne.

"Fffhhh... Oh God, thanks. I needed that. Man, after an hour here with Detective Sourpuss." Lady Justice nearly had tears of her own rolling down her cheeks, and her eyeshadow smudged as she rubbed at her eyes. "Whew, that was something else there, Just Fulbright."

Just...? That's right! He was _just_!

He stumbled to his feet, only to be met with Detective Badd's impatient stare. The disorderly collection of files in Bobby's arms was snatched away before he even had a chance to apologize for the third time.

"I swear, Fulbright-" Detective Badd began, before Lady Justice's hand whipped back and smacked him on the arm.

"Oh, cut him some slack, Badd. Like your sorry ass has never made a mistake."

"You ever get tired of telling me what to do, Calisto? Between you and Kay..."

"Calisto...?" Bobby repeated, his grin returning. It wasn't the first impression he'd hoped to make, but it'd led to him knowing Lady Justice's name. And what a unique name it was! Pretty too. Perfectly fitting, Bobby thought, as he watched her retrieve a compact mirror from the purse resting on the desk beside her.

"Calisto Yew."

"It's really nice to meet you, Ms. Yew. I..." He hesitated. Was he supposed to extend her a handshake? That was the proper thing to do, professionally, but she didn't seem to be here as a lawyer today, not in her striped tank top and those shorts that...

Bobby realized his eyes had trailed down to her smooth, exposed legs, and immediately snapped them back to her face, blurting out the first thing he could think of. Here was hoping he hadn't been distracted long enough that it was obvious! Likely it wasn't, as she too busy examining her smeared eyeliner in the mirror, but then again she _was_ a defense lawyer – they noticed _everything_. The good ones, anyway.

And Ms. Yew, he knew, was one of the goodest of the good. "I saw you in court last -"

"Fulbright, do you have any questions about the reports?" Detective Badd shuffled the papers a lot louder than he probably needed to. "This isn't social hour... you can head back to General Affairs if that's all you've got for me."

"Sheesh, Badd, what's wrong with a little chit-chat? Just Fulbright here must be like me, and can't get enough of you." She served Bobby a wink and clacked her compact shut, stuffing it into her purse.

"Get out of here, Yew."

Ms. Yew hopped off the desk, her arms brushing along Bobby's as she passed by him. The faint aroma of... something sweet and floral drifted over him. She even smelled amazing!

"Mm, fine." She threw a coy smirk back at – well, probably Detective Badd, but Bobby hoped at him, too. "But I'll be back for more before you know it."

She strode away leisurely, out to the elevator lobby.

Only Lady Justice – er, Ms. Yew! - could make Bobby momentarily forget about someone as large and intimidating as Detective Badd being in the room with him.

Until Detective Badd's deep, impatient question yanked him back to reality. "I'll ask you again, Fulbright, since you haven't left: Do you have any questions?"

Uh-oh, that would have been the only reason Bobby would have come over to see Detective Badd, wouldn't it? Otherwise he would have just dropped off the files at his desk, and left. He had to think of something!

"How do you know Ms. Yew?"

"Did you have any questions _about the_ _reports_ , Fulbright?"

Geez, he was really digging himself deep now. He half expected Detective Badd to escort him back to General Affairs in cuffs, for being so inept. "No... no, Sir, I didn't, and -"

"You're not gonna get in trouble for asking questions... I'd rather you did, and do things right, than make a bunch of boneheaded mistakes like half the clowns that came out of your class."

Wait... was that a vote of confidence? He supposed so, that Detective Badd offering help meant that he, at the very least, thought Bobby capable enough of improving. "Oh, I appreciate it, Sir! But Officer Faith was there and answered the few questions I had when I was working on them. To the best of my knowledge, they're a million percent accurate and complete!"

"...Okay..." Detective Badd placed the reports, which were now in a neat stack, aside. "But look, kid, you need to work on displaying your badge. Not that you should just go around whipping that thing out left and right; a real officer doesn't need his badge front and center to show who he is. You understand?"

It was true; Bobby didn't think he'd ever seen Detective Badd's badge. Just the way he carried himself, it told everyone that he was the kind of officer who upheld justice. Still, he didn't think it was inherently wrong that he _did_ want to show his off. Another conundrum, that he was sure to solve as his career went on.

"Yes, Sir." Bobby nodded, uncertain if anyone had ever had the guts (or foolishness) to tell Detective Badd they _didn't_ understand what he was saying. "I do, completely."

"Good. Now, take the rest of the day off. You'll be monitoring one of Detective Starr's interrogations tomorrow, and you'll want to be well alert for that... so go home and get some rest."

Wait a second, he thought Detective Badd was pleased with what he'd accomplished thus far! Why was he-...? "No!" Oh _geez_ , he couldn't just say that. "No, what I mean, Sir, is please... please don't! I said I'm sorry about -"

Badd shook his head, letting out a sigh. "Look, I know you've already stayed later the past couple days. The last thing you need is to wear yourself out the first month on the job. You'll be grateful down the road when you're here 'til midnight writing up reports for a week's worth B-and-E's."

Bobby understood. He didn't exactly agree, and had to wonder if he hadn't made such a scene, would he'd still been instructed to leave early? But still, he understood. "Yes, Sir."

He turned to leave, and hadn't taken more than a couple of steps before Detective Badd addressed him again.

"And Fulbright?..."

Turning back, he saw Detective Badd busying himself rearranging a different set of files than the ones Bobby had gone through and corrected. These files were worn, crinkled – at least months old, handled innumerable times. But Bobby knew better than to press about them.

"Yes, Sir?"

"You're lucky you made an ass of yourself in front of me, and not someone who doesn't remember what it's like to be a rookie. But don't let it happen again." His voice took a sharp, gruff turn, as if he were grilling Bobby in the interrogation room. "That's an order, not advice."

"Y-Yes, Sir."

* * *

After giving Buddy a half-hearted goodbye and grabbing his bookbag from where he'd left it by Buddy's desk, Bobby exited the precinct faster than he had any day before.

He didn't think of it as being ashamed that he'd been dismissed early, more like he was strictly following orders from Detective Badd. Anyone else might see it as a negative situation, but Bobby knew it was always best to focus on the positive, and think of it as an opportunity, not an obstacle!

Maybe with these extra couple hours, he could accomplish something he hadn't planned to otherwise. Oh, he could run to the grocery store and grab a few things – one less errand for his grandparents to run. Well, if the Olds could make it that far, to the store and back...

The acrid scent of cigarette smoke reached him as he descended the steps at the front of the precinct, and he stopped in his tracks when he saw the source of it.

There she was, leaning against the nearest streetlight post, cigarette lazily drooping between her fingers as she stared off into the distance.

A thin flag of smoke drifted above her, and dissipated much like Bobby's thoughts as he couldn't believe his luck that he'd get to see her again so soon.

At least this time, he immediately knew what he was going to say to her.

While Bobby didn't find smoking attractive in any way, ultimately he didn't have much issue with it so long as it was done responsibly and respecting all ordinances regarding it. Which was precisely why he couldn't let even the girl of his dreams go without informing her of the great disservice to justice she was committing!

"Excuse me!" He hurried over to her, although she didn't turn to face him until he was nearly right beside her. "Ms. Yew, smoking is prohibited within a hundred feet of any federal or state building. That includes the police department!"

" _Oh_ , well. Thanks for telling me. Wouldn't want some big, handsome policeman to slap me in cuffs." She let the cigarette fall to the cement and ground her open-toe sandals into it. But her eyes were trained intently on Bobby. "Would I?"

Ms. Yew's expression treaded a fine line of boredom and arrogance. Under the sunlight beaming down Bobby could see the freckles spattered across her cheeks, visible under the sheen of makeup she was wearing. Everything about her was just so... so _different_ and yet, didn't seem the slightest bit out of place.

Of all that he'd learned in training, about _nerves_ and pushing them aside to make sure the job got done, _this_ circumstance – talking to the cutest girl he'd ever seen in his life – he didn't think he'd ever be properly prepared.

So he might as well just go for it. There was no shame in _trying_. The worst injustice of all would be hanging his head and walking away! "Um, I didn't get to tell you, but I saw your trial against Mr. Faraday the other week. You were really... memorable!"

"Uh-huh."

"And...! I really like your earrings." This statement was easier. He'd planned it out in his mind over and over since seeing her for the first time. "Only someone on the side of justice could make them look so... fetching!"

A rather unladylike snort left Ms. Yew, as she turned her head and covered her mouth. Almost as if she were about to burst out laughing again. At what, Bobby wasn't sure. He didn't think he'd said anything particularly funny, although he should have thought of a better compliment than a word Gram would use to describe a church dress of hers.

"So what's your deal?" She asked after dropping her hand away. "You really like Detective Badd, don'tcha?"

"Like? Well, he was one of my training officers, and he's so..." Bobby tried to think of the right way to put it. "For one, he and Mr. Faraday work really great together; I'd love to have a partnership with a prosecutor like that one day! And he doesn't compromise himself at all. I think that's really admirable, to have such a strong personal sense of justice! And he just... he knows what he's doing, and he's-"

"Oh, _does_ he now?" Ms. Yew's voice dripped with a sarcasm Bobby couldn't understand. Why would she act so dismissive of Detective Badd?

"Yeah... and he's almost like a dad to me!" Not that Bobby really knew, personally, what a dad should be like, but he knew what one _shouldn't_ be like, and Detective Badd seemed like he would be a pretty cool dad, if he wasn't already. He'd be a pretty cool _anything_ , really.

"Hmfffhhh." Ms. Yew cupped a hand over her mouth, shoulders shaking. "That's funny, because he's just like a daddy to me, too."

"Huh?"

"Nothing." Her face returned to a cool blankness as she regained her composure ."Nothing. So what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow...?" It didn't take long to think about it. The only thing he ever did on Friday nights was go to the legion with Gram and Grandpa, where they held Bingo and, if he was lucky, a bake sale. But that was every _other_ Friday. This Friday... he was just going to clean his fish tank and watch a marathon of _Match Game_ on the Game Show Network. Unless... "Well, I... I _could_ be going out with you, if you're free. If you're up to it."

"Smooth. Much better than your antics back at Badd's desk."

"Yeah?"

"Girls don't like guys who fumble around, Just Fulbright."

"Oh, don't worry! Detective Badd promised he's going to show me how to properly flash my badge!" Bobby beamed proudly at the thought. "Then I won't make an ass of myself!"

It sounded so much cooler when Detective Badd said it, Bobby immediately realized. For one, he couldn't imagine Ms. Yew would be clutching herself and snickering much quieter than she was likely capable of, when Detective Badd spoke.

"-pffwahaha." Ms Yew's laughter died down. "Yeah, I'll bet. I'd love to be updated on _that_ progress. Maybe for once he won't fuck something up, but I won't hold my breath."

"What...?" This was so confusing! Detective Badd and Ms. Yew knew each other _somehow_ , and both of them kept making allusions, but neither would tell him outright. Not that it was Bobby's business, he supposed, but still. It was frustrating to be forced to stay on the outskirts of knowledge, as if he couldn't handle whatever the truth was!

"Don't worry about it. Maybe I'll explain it a little bit more in detail tomorrow." She exhaled a laugh through her nose. "Or maybe I won't. Guess it depends how the night goes."

"Tomorrow?" Was Ms. Yew really saying what he thought she was?

After a long moment that she seemed to be holding solely for suspense – she didn't appear to be in thought about his question at all, that was for sure – Ms Yew simply shrugged. "You were trying to ask me out. So you still wanna go out, or what?"

"...Really?!"

"Yeah, what the hell, I guess so. I mean, I need something to do on a Friday night. Sounds like you do too. So why not?"

Bobby didn't argue any further and eagerly entered her number into his cell phone. She wasn't very interested in deciding on a location, telling Bobby to pick her up at her office down on Vista Avenue and they could just wing it from there. He chalked that up to Ms. Yew having a sense of spontaneity and adventure, which he should have expected from such an independent, hard-working woman such as herself!

"Seven, okay? I don't like to be kept waiting."

"Of course not!" Bobby promised. Gram had raised him to be punctual and most of all, respectful of a woman's wishes, and he'd never disappoint either Gram or Ms. Yew.

With a swish of her long hair and a clipped "Later", Ms. Yew turned and didn't look back as she strolled down the sidewalk.

Bobby watched as she removed her cigarettes from her purse, and light one up not quite a hundred feet away from the station. And he thought about reminding her of what he'd just told her, about the no-smoking rule, but words failed him as he considered the possibility that, from what he knew of her already, Ms. Yew might well be aware of all the rules.

But she played by her own.

* * *

 _This pairing is crack and trash and I'm having a hella fun time writing it. Feedback is always appreciated...if you dare. B)_


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